Nothing went wrong!

KIRI:
Nothing happened!!!

ALLY:
What do  you  mean, nothing happened?

KIRI:
We went for a walk round the harbour, and nothing happened!!

ALLY:
Well, the seagulls and the oystercatchers shouted, and the waves crashed against the pier, and you met several friendly dogs who didn't stop to play, and I took some photos of you. I wouldn't say that's "nothing".

KIRI:
Nothing went wrong!

ALLY:
Surely that's a good thing!

KIRI:
But there's nothing to write about!!!!

ALLY:
Would you like me to have an accident every time we go out?

KIRI:
Yes!! No. No, that wouldn't be good. 

ALLY:
Well, here's a photo of you laughing. Will that do?

KIRI:
Hahahaha! ROFL! LOL! !!!!

Even dogs get old and die

ALLY:
Kiri - why is that when you meet my friends on Facebook  you call them by their names, but you refer to me as, "Small Human Person?" You know my name!

KIRI:
I don't know what your friends look like so I can only use the names they tell me!

ALLY:
But that's the name their mummy and daddy gave them! Their proper name!

KIRI:
So why did your mummy and daddy call you "Ally?"

ALLY:
They didn't, actually. They called me "Allison."

KIRI:
So you use a different name? Why? Does "Ally" mean "small Allison?"

ALLY:
Well, in a way it does.

KIRI:
I am so clever! I worked that out for myself!!! And ... and ... they didn't know you'd grow up to be a small person, did they?

ALLY:
Probably not. Though my mum was smaller than I am.

KIRI:
Tiny Human Person then. Was she was small as me?

ALLY:
No. Just a wee bit smaller than I am.

KIRI:
Why have I never met your mummy and daddy? I want to meet them!!!

ALLY:
You can't.

KIRI:
Why not?

ALLY:
They died a long time ago.

KIRI:
No!!! Oh Small Human Person - Small Ally - that is sad. I am so sad.

What happened? Did an asteroid come crashing to earth and explode over their house? Were they abducted by aliens who frazzled them with a ray gun? Were they collateral damage in a terrorist shoot-out? Were they poisoned by eating one of those funny poisonous fish that Homer Simpson ate? Tell me!!!

ALLY:
None of those things. They just got old, and died, like everyone does eventually.

KIRI:
Everyone but you. You won't get old and die!

ALLY:
Yes. I will.

KIRI:
No!! You can't!

ALLY:
I wish you were right.

KIRI:
I won't get old and die though! I'm a dog!!

ALLY:
Dogs get old and die too. Look at Ghyll. He's old.

KIRI:
But he's not DEAD.

ALLY:
Not yet.

KIRI:
I love Old Creaky Dog even if he's not much use to play with! I thought if I waited long enough he might get young again, and then we could play together!! Is that not right then?

ALLY:
People and dogs don't get young again. I wish they did. But they just get old and die.

KIRI:
You've made me sad again.

ALLY:
Sorry. I didn't mean to do that. Tell me about your mummy and daddy! What were they like?

KIRI:
My mummy was a space dog from the planet Perro! She was great!!!

ALLY:
Indeed?  I didn't know you spoke Spanish.

KIRI:
There's a lot about me you don't know.

ALLY:
That's true. You need to tell me more. What about your daddy?

KIRI:
My daddy ... he was a Great Warg from Middle Earth!

ALLY:
Goodness! I am impressed. I suppose your mummy fancied him because he was a dangerous bad guy.

KIRI:
That's right! They fell in love and had little me!! And then my daddy had to run away because the Middle Earth policemen were after him!!

ALLY:
Middle Earth policemen? How much of Lord of the Rings have you actually read?

KIRI:
What's Lord of the Rings?

ALLY:
It's the book that has Middle Earth and wargs in it.

KIRI:
Oh! There's a book! I was watching The Hobbit on TV with you last night. There were wargs and Middle Earth in that.

ALLY:
Ah. It's all part of the same story. You should read the books. But you're admitting you made it all up, aren't you?

KIRI:
No! It's all true!!!

ALLY:
You have a wonderful imagination.

KIRI:
Well, I live with you, don't I?

Accidents will happen

KIRI:
Well! That was exciting! We went for a walk! In the wind! Down near the sea! It was great!

ALLY: 
Yes, we did, didn't we? And what happened?

KIRI: 
I met a dog! And we made friends.!! She was black and white like Old Creaky Dog ... but she could run as fast as I can, so we chased each other round and round!! It was great! It was so exciting!!! She is my New Best Friend!!

ALLY: 
 You do realise you may never see her again?

KIRI:
I don't believe you. Why are trying to make me sad?

ALLY: 
Oh, I'm not! Just being realistic. Anyway, you made me sad. What happened after we met the border collie?

KIRI:  
We went all the way to Flimby! It was great!! And you made up a song about how wonderful Flimby is, and how nice it is to walk on the beach in the rain with your dog. That made me happy!

ALLY:
Hmm. Not sure if I was being entirely serious about Flimby, but it's all a matter of opinion. Delighted it made you so happy. And then what happened?

 KIRI:
The rain got heavier and I got wet but I didn't mind, 'cause I was walking with you, and that's the BEST THING!!!

ALLY:
 You do know what I'm leading up to, don't you? That's why you're being all smarmy. You're feeling guilty, aren't you?

KIRI: 
No! I love walking with you!! I'll walk anywhere with you!! ANYWHERE!!!

ALLY:  
Stop shouting.

KIRI:  
Sorry. I was excited!

ALLY:  
I'd never have guessed. 

KIRI:
I'm quite good at hiding it.

ALLY: 
Really ...?

ALLY:
So ... what happened next?

KIRI: 
We went back to the car park.

ALLY: 
And ...?

KIRI:  
I was excited to see the car! I can recognise our car! And then you suddenly let go of my lead and lay down on the ground and said. "Bloody stupid dog!"

KIRI:  
Yes, I did, didn't I? Why do you suppose I did that?

KIRI:  
I don't know. It didn't look very comfortable. Why did you do that?

ALLY: 
Because you yanked me through a narrow gap and tripped me up, you bloody stupid dog! My hands are all sore, I've got skint knuckles and a big bruise on my knee, and my best guitar-playing fingernail is broken. What have you got to say about that?

KIRI: 
:-( Er ... sorry? I didn't mean to hurt you. But I was SO EXCITED!!!

Are we still friends?

ALLY:
<sigh> Yes, of course we are. Just try to curb your enthusiasm next time, eh?

JODY Mcq: 
Lol Ally. You two are funny!

ALLY:
We do our best! :-)

JODY McQ:
Kiri - I'm sure you will see your new friend again...just ask Ally to take you to the beach every day!

KIRI:
Yes! Yes! See? SHE says we'll meet again. And I believe her! TAKE ME TO THE BEACH EVERY DAY!!!

ALLY: 
You're shouting again.

KIRI:
I was afraid you might not hear me otherwise.

ALLY:
Oh don't you worry. I can hear you.

LOUIS C: (another dog joins the conversation) 
I have same problem. Every day I try to tell Jody Mc! and the volunteers that I want to go to the beach, they only listen to me once every other day. I bark , pull them towards the car, sit down next to a car. I can only conclude that they just aren't very clever..

ALLY: 
Maybe they just don't want to go the beach! I'm sure Kiri will have some interesting comments when she wakes up, but right now she's having a snooze so the cats are getting some peace.

JOHN F: 
You two are the best double act ever! 

SOPHIE D:
Dear Kiri! We have lots! Of rabbits here! You can come and chase them round the field whenever you like! Then when you catch one! You can eat it!

KIRI:
Oh Sophie you have RABBITS!!!! I am so excited! I have to make Small Human Person take me to meet you. I know I'm going to like you!!!

JOANNE L: 
Kiri you really need to be taught how to use a camera so that we can see your adventures as well as hearing about them 😃 Xx

JOHN F:
Brilliant idea. How about a GoPro and dog harness? 

ALLY:
If I could afford a GoPro I don't think I'd want to trust it to that daft dog! 

JOANNE L:
 Lol was really meaning mum could take some pics I have no idea what a GoPro is 😂

JOHN F:

Joanne, something like this:

 ALLY:
Mum takes LOADS of photos, Joanne! Haven't you seen them?
Joanne - here's a link to my photo albums. Look for the ones with Kiri.
 www.flickr.com/photos/allybeag/albums

JOANNE L:

Sorry kiri and ally me bad I'll try to keep up better in future! X

ALLY:

:-) Well there's enough photos there to keep you occupied for months of sleepless nights ... If you like animals, search my Flickr site for photos of Ghyll and Pace too, and my cats Aineko and Oscar. There are LOADS. (Oh goodness, that dog's got me shouting too now!)

KIRI:
Ahem! Who are you calling a daft dog???

ALLY:
Oh lord. Not content with excessive exclamation marks, now it's excessive question marks. 

KIRI:

I like punctuation!!! Too many is better than missing them out!!! !!

ALLY:

No, it's just as bad to have too many.

JOANNE L:
Diva dog alert! 😉😂

JOHN F:

Kiri's spelling and vocabulary are excellent for one so young.

KIRI: 

John - thank you!! Small Human Person is very fussy about these things! She said she didn't want another illiterate dog.

ALLY:

I said nothing of the sort! Ghyll is lovely, even if his spelling is abysmal.

GHYLL:
wot u sayn bout me 

ALLY:
How did you get in here, Ghyll? You don't even have a facebook account! I was just saying you are lovely and we all love you. Now go back to sleep.

GHYLL:
k

Making it up

KIRI:
We took longer than usual with our walk this morning!!

ALLY
Yes, I kept stopping to record our conversation.

KIRI:
What conversation?

ALLY:
The one where you told me your mummy was a spacedog from the planet Perro and your father was a warg from Middle Earth.

KIRI:
Oh, that one! I made that up.

ALLY:
I know.

KIRI:
I thought I was pretty convincing!

ALLY:
Well, you might have convinced a worm with its hands over its ears ...

KIRI:
A worm with its hands over its ears? Worms don't have hands!! Or ears!!!

ALLY:
It's just a figure of speech.

KIRI:
I've never heard anyone say it!

ALLY:
That doesn't mean it's not a figure of speech.

KIRI:
I think you made it up.

ALLY:
Well, maybe I did.

KIRI:
You have a wonderful imagination!

ALLY:
Well, I live with you, don't I?

Romans and Rabbits

KIRI:

Small Human Person took me - and Old Creaky Dog - to the place we go every morning. We love it! There are hundreds of rabbits who leave treats for us, and they make it even more fun by running so that I can chase them! I hope I can catch one. I want it to be my friend! We go in this little field that's different from all the other fields 'cause it's got deep trenches and ridges all over, and bits of old walls. It's great fun to run up and down and then into the long grass where I can hide until Small Human Person calls me , when I jump out and go bounding towards her and pretend to knock her over! It's great! Sometimes I do knock old Creaky Dog over, but he's too easy to knock over and anyway he doesn't seem to mind. I like him. He's my Friend!

ALLY:

 It's not just any field, Kiri - it's the ruins of a small Roman fort, built by Roman soldiers long ago.

KIRI:
I don't know what that means. Did they make it for their dogs?

ALLY:

 Well ...I'm sure they had dogs, and the dogs would have run about there, but the walls were much bigger back then - like little houses. And soldiers. 

KIRI:
So they made little houses and a nice lumpy field for their dogs! I like Roman soldiers! I want them to be my friends!

Did they have rabbits?

 ALLY:

 <sigh> Yes, there have always been rabbits. The Roman soldiers caught them and ate them.

Serena B:

 In fact, it was the Romans who brought the rabbits here, so they could eat them - and, not doubt, so that their dogs could chase them...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1487787/Romans-introduced-the-rabbit.html